You may recall, I witnessed a phlegmy handshake yesterday and felt somewhat responsible since I had made the introductions that caused that saliva-swap to begin with. I checked in with Will, who, isn't technically a patient of mine, but at this point, I'm treating all citizens as my patients whether they realize it or not.
Dr. Morgan... Will, are you there?
William Vaquerano/... ya
Dr. Morgan... I have a couple of questions for you, but I'd prefer to do it over this IM thing as I feel you may be contaminated.
William Vaquerano/... yes sir?
Dr. Morgan... Yesterday, do you recall when I made introductions with you and the new girl, Erin?
William Vaquerano/... yes
Dr. Morgan... Did she cough on her hand just prior to extending her hand and shaking yours?
William Vaquerano/... she did bro, I almost threw up on both of you guys. F*CK!
Dr. Morgan... That is ALMOST an act of terrorism. Did you go rinse up or do you have Lysol wipes at your desk? Oh, and how are you feeling?
Dr. Morgan...(30 seconds later) ANSWER ME!
William Vaquerano/... fine, but that shit was f*cked up.
Dr. Morgan...You're terminal.
William Vaquerano/...I'm fine dude.
Dr. Morgan...That's denial.
William Vaquerano/...I'm fine, and I gotta get to work dude.
Dr. Morgan...Okay. I will keep an eye on you periodically throughout the day, and I may check up on your glands and maybe take a throat culture.
William Vaquerano/...Leave me alone dude, I'm good.
Dr. Morgan...You'll thank me. I gotta sign off, I don't want your energy being sapped from unnecessary typing. Let me know if you get any symptoms.
Dr. Morgan...(1 minute later) At least reply with something so I know that you got my last IM, which may be the most important in case you start feeling hot flashes, etc.
William Vaquerano/...okay
Dr. Morgan..."okay" you got my last IM, or "okay", you are now just beginning to feel symptoms?
Dr. Morgan...Will? Will....This isn't funny.
Dr. Morgan...I'm coming over.
I walked over to Will's desk which is 10 feet to the right of my desk. After a brief visual inspection, it 'appears' that things are normal, as Will is reading ESPN.com and is letting phone calls go immediately into voicemail. I'm going to watch his eating habits throughout the day and see which course the virus decides to take. My guess? Tomorrow, sore throat, runny nose, and a slight cough. (Digital recorder message to self: "No contact whatsoever with Will today or tomorrow. Also, stay clear of the virus spreader, Erin. Breast visuals are not off limits.")
Doctor's Note: Will is in sales, so he already has the sales virus.
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