Sanitation: 4 out of 5 people "not trying it"

I work in an office building. It's actually only two stories high so it's more like a two-story house filled with offices. It's an office house. Even though it's only two stories, there's an elevator. They had to install it in case a handicap person is ever hired here, but they could have saved money by just turning "those people" away. A lot of fat people disguising themselves as handicapped will use the elevator. Sometimes I'll race to the second floor so when they get out, they think they've just seen my twin brother downstairs.

I've witnessed, in the past 3 hours, two of the most unsanitary displays of germ contact in my entire life. I was introducing a temp, hired solely based on breast display, to another employee, and after saying "Erin, this is Will. Will, Erin.", she coughed on her hand and then extended it and shook Will's hand. I don't know if Will has Lysol wipes at his desk, or, if he went to rinse up, but we already have germs all over our hands, prior to having another blast of mucus spray on them. I was going to send Will and instant message saying "Did you wash your hands after that c*nt shook your hand with phlegm?" but I am just going to wait and observe his health over the next couple of days.

Now, listen up, because this is where the soup turns into a stew. I was using the bathroom, and some guy left a stall after evacuating and didn't wash his hands. This is unfathomable and not how humans should behave. The germs in our feke would cripple a nation of smaller beings, like ants, or smurfs. I should not have to grab a door handle and wonder if the person that left before me may or may not be a good wiper. Luckily for me, the door is slightly ajar at all times. After I rinse, I have to use my fingertips about 2 feet over the handle and pry the door open like Indiana Jones opening a concrete tomb. Another guy I work with was following me out and here's the conversation we had:

Him: "Why are you opening the door like that?"

Me: "Because some scumbag didn't wash his hands, and if you think I'm touching that sh*thandle, you're wrong."

As a Doctor with no formal medical training, I feel it's my duty to make everyone aware of the dangers of germ exchange. I will post an update on Will's health on Wednesday.