I was playing Texas Hold 'Em with a colleague of mine, Dr. Trainor. Instead of playing for money, we decided the loser of each game would be forced to do a shot of cranberry vodka. It was 2pm on Sunday.
His 2 year old son, Daniel, watched us while eating raisins. Even though it was a laid back game, Daniel's insistence on f*cking with the poker chips was making me livid. Then Daniel pointed at the shot glass and says "dat's water.....dat's water....dat's water" over and over again. He wouldn't stop even though Dr. Trainor and I were nodding him to death. I finally said "That's not just any water, Danny. That's angry water." He then began screaming while smiling "ANGRY WATER! ANGRY WATER!" Kids are natures way of saying "It's possible to be annoyed every 3 seconds."
Dr. Trainor told me the next day that he doesn't mind the constant "ANGRY WATER!" lately. Just last week, standing in front of church, the boy looked up at the giant clock face on the steeple and began shouting "Big clock! Big clock!", but it was coming out "Big cock! Big cock!" and had to be subdued.
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My grandmother used to sit in a La-Z-Boy chair weekday afternoons and watch soaps. One day, my mom (then eight years old) asked what it was she was drinking. My grandmother turned to her and said, "This is my friend." And when my mom asked what her friends name was, grandma replied, "Colored Water." Turns out it was bourbon with an ice cube or two.
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